


dawn over the valley

by TechnicalTragedy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Comfort Sex, M/M, Porn with Feelings, spoilers through episode 56
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:04:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7356850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnicalTragedy/pseuds/TechnicalTragedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a nightmare begins a nightmare, and a nightmare creates a dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dawn over the valley

**Author's Note:**

> idk i wasnt planning on writing this but here i am at four am when i have to wake up in a few hours cause im not great at making wise decisions. also it's not horribly smutty but they have a bunch of sex? if that makes sense. whatever. enjoy!

it's the nightmares that get him.

percy wakes in a cold sweat, eyes trained on the dark ceiling above him. his hands shake worse than usual. and he stands, unbuttoning his claustrophobic pajamas and tying the arms around his waist. the stone is cold against his feet but he welcomes it. he lets himself be grounded by something other than the tendrils of fear threatening to clutch fire-hot around his heart.

most of the time, he seeks out vax.

it's no longer unusual for there to be a knock at vax's door at an ungodly hour. he knows who it is. he opens the door anyway.

"i'm sorry," percy starts every time, "this is the last time, i just need-"

"alright," vax says.

(they both know it's a lie. they both know that percy will come slinking back to vax's room with sheepish apology written all over his features. they both know vax will welcome him in. and they both know what happens after, what always happens once percy's through that door.)

it isn't out of the kindness of vax's heart that he allows percy in. no, the arrangement they have is like a business transaction; their relationship's basis is that it is mutually beneficial.

and no one needs to know.

(no one needs to know that vax has all of percy's skin mapped out, that he could trace the topography of scarring with his eyes closed. and there are many scars. long, brutal ones down percy's back from the torture he's endured, puncture marks where arrows and blades have pierced flesh, there's lightning etched into him from when he charges diplomacy. he has tattoos wrapping around his arms. vax, in his gentler moments, kisses up the line of initials on percy's ribs. and sometimes percy will take vax's hands, will draw his tongue over the pulse points in vax's wrists, over vax's own tattoos. sometimes percy puts his teeth over the healed holes in vax's throat. sometimes he bites down.)

it isn't love, surely, but it's occasionally tender.

when they return from the tomb of the raven queen's champion, vax finds percy instead. it isn't tender. they fuck on the workshop floor, vax's hand around percy's throat until he almost blacks out. vax doesn't take his clothes off and doesn't stay long after. percy drags his hand down his naked flesh, feeling the indents where vax's teeth had sunk in, where his fingers had pressed and drawn blood. they aren't worn as points of pride, but percy touches them to remind himself to be smarter. percy refuses to let the crescent moons of vax's fingernails ever really heal.

they avoid each other for a while after that.

(percy wakes from nightmares and forces himself to stay away. he walks in the forest, he looks out windows, he tinkers, he doesn't go back to sleep. he wonders when he grew so dependent on vax.)

and finally, vax comes back to percy. he isn't happy, but he nudges percy awake with his foot and drags him into the woods, away from the clearing where their friends sleep but close enough to keep an eye on them.

vax puts a hand over percy's mouth while vax is riding him. they stay as quiet as they can. vax leans down and whispers, "don't think i've forgiven you, de rolo," and percy shudders as he comes.

"i don't deserve your forgiveness," percy says back as he works vax to completion. vax tenses at his words and latches teeth into percy's shoulder as warmth gathers between them.

moments later, as they clean each other up, vax looks to percy, catching himself admiring the play of the firelight over his bare skin. "we understand each other, then?" he says.

percy swallows, and vax can see his throat bob as he does so. percy nods. vax kisses him with mostly teeth, but percy melts into it anyway.

percy takes over watch. vax goes to sleep.

(and maybe it isn't healthy that percy's mind replays vax's words in his fantasies. percy knows he's fucked. it doesn't stop him from biting his tongue to keep from crying; it doesn't stop him from licking his lips when he thinks of vax's hand around his neck, his voice is his ear saying "don't think i've forgiven you.")

they're in westruun when percy goes to find vax. he raises a hand to knock, and the door swings open before he can.

vax looks at him, dark eyes intense but the softest they've been in weeks.

"come in," he says. his voice is rough.

it isn't the angry, rushed sex they've been having since the tomb. it's the night before umbrasyl, before they might all die, and they are gentler than they've been in months.

vax puts his hand to percy's cheek, looking at him with something approaching sadness in his endless brown eyes. "i still believe you are good," he says. "foolish, rash, and headstrong. but good."

percy leans in to kiss vax, and their lips lock like it's what they were meant to do. it feels like a piece clicking into place while the rest of the puzzle falls away.

they pull only far enough apart to see each other.

"i might love you," percy says. it isn't a weight off of his chest but the feeling of a nightmare gripping his heart.

vax pauses, and they stare at each other for a long moment. "it changes nothing," vax says. "love has no place in our awaiting death."

it is odd, to feel both lighter and heavier. percy feels simultaneously too big for his skin and too small for his bones; he feels like he'll either tear apart or collapse in on himself without notice.

"this is the end, then?" percy says. vax shifts, making stars burst in percy's vision.

"i love you, too, percival," vax says, rather than answering.

percy rocks, letting his eyelids flutter and stay closed as he finds an easy rhythm. vax's hands rest on his hips. "once more unto the breach?"

and percy can hear vax smirk as he snaps his hips upward, drawing a gasp from percy, "i believe i'm already breaching, darling."

"i suppose you are," percy agrees. he curls his fingers into vax's chest and lets the sensation carry him away.

vax links their hands when they become more frantic, chasing the horizon that looms ever closer. vax's fingers tighten on an exhale, and heat floods percy from inside out.

"it's alright, percival," vax says. he smiles. "we'll be alright."

and percy has enough time left to believe the words before his vision goes dark.

percy doesn't look over at vax once they've felled umbrasyl. vax doesn't look to percy, either. it's an unspoken agreement.

vax comes to percy's room in scanlan's mansion.

"i'm glad you aren't dead, shitface," vax says.

percy huffs, and steps aside to let him in. "you too, birdbrain."

they twine together and sleep. no nightmares are had.


End file.
